BEING TRUE TO MYSELF

Unrequited Love

2009-11-11T10:43:00.000-08:00

And the Nightmares are back... i really thought she has gone for good, then... i think i was wrong... i run and run amok.. they still chase me like there is no tommorow...i flee to escape... but the impetus is so hard that it pushes me over the edge...

my cerebellum is crammed that i can think no more.. every platelet of mine spells thy name... the pain that hammers me is huge and bears me down when ever i move... i am reduced to that of an old man who wills to lie down and crumble..

Born will be I, with more strength and power... 'cause to overcome my love for you is my goal now... my heart is broken no matter what... but i will be back like the light after night...

but who am i fooling... no wonder even when i travel across seven lands, my love for you looks upon me like death... i don't want to bear my love and live till i age and wither off... let me be crucified... for you and millions of other unrequited love...

fINDING tHAT mEANING

2009-08-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

My body's numb from the fear of loving again. The thoughts running through my head like a person with insomnia. He was thinking is this world really meant for me because if it was why do i have so many problems. He said the Lord put us here for a reason but can we define that reason that which the Lord put us here. People said he put us here to find the true happiness in a loved one. But the weirdest thing of all is we really dont know how much we love someone until their gone. Why make such a precist gift of life if their going to die in this cruel world of anger and hate. The person who is happy and found that meaning of love why do they always get taken away. And he said to himself is this world meant for me or is it some game thats put on extreme with one lonely life left to live.

Situations aren't difficult, people are difficult

2009-06-07T12:33:00.000-07:00

it's true..Sometimes, it seems like it would be a whole lot easier if we didn't have to deal with anyone but ourselves. But, it's our relationships with others that bring us the most experiences... whether they're +tive or -tive, they teach us not only about the world around us but we discover who we truly are.

being vulnerable

2009-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his/ her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy

hate again is a feeling

2009-05-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

I HAV A V3RY STRONG F33LIN DAT ..OPPOSIT3 OF LUV IS NOT HAT3 ..IT'S APATHY

owed an apology

2009-04-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

IM ON CL3ANUP DRIV3 FOR MYS3LF... WZ TAKIN MORE TIM3 2 FIX OR R3PAIR ....OR P3RHAPS I OW3 SOM3-1 AN APOLOGY? OFT3N, A SIMPL3 MISTAK3 HAS NO IMPACT AT ALL, IT WAZ SIMPLY NOT DON3 IN THE WAY THAT WAZ XP3CT3D. WHAT3V3R TH3 IMPACT IS, TAKE A LOOK AT WHO OR WHAT WAZ INVOLV3D, AND DECIDE IF SOM3THING N33DS TO B3 DON3 AT ALL TO R3COV3R FROM THE MISTAKE THAT WAZ MAD3.

helping myself day1

2009-03-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

I WANNA KNOW WAT LUV R3ALLY IZ….....AND IF ITZ WAT IM F33LIN D3N IT SUX….....U KNOW I FINALLY THOUGHT I FOUND DA P3RSON..I KNOW ITZ STUPID 2 THINK DAT CUZ IM STILL YOUNG BT I WAZ HOPIN W3 COULD B3 1 OF THOS3 COLL3G3 SW33ETH3ARTS….IT COULD HAPP3N RIGHT…WRONG!!!!!...I WAST3D ALL THAT TYM W/ 3M 4 NUTHIN..W3LL ACTUALLY I DIDNT WWAST3 IT…...I LOV3D IT…..I N3V3R KN3W ANY1 COULD MAK3 M3 F33L DAT WAII!!!! I R3ALLY N3V3R KN3W TH3R3 WAZ N-3-THING LYK DA WAII I F33L….HOW CAN IT F33L SO GOOD AND DA N3XT THING U KNOW…POOF…ITZ ALL GON3? IT R3ALLY SUX..IM CRYIN OV3R 3M AND I KANT L3T GO OF 3M I M3AN Y HOLD ON 2 SUMTHIN DAT IZNT 3V3N MINE N-E-MOR3? ..I JUST WANT 3V3RYTHING 2 GO BAK 2 WH3R3 IT WAZ W/ NON3 OF WATZ GOIN ON…NO H3ARTBR3AK NO CRYIN….IV3 B33N GOIN ON LYK DIZ 4 2 LONG….Y LYK SUM1 WHO DO3SNT 3V3N LYK U BAK?I JUST WANNA STOP THINKIN OF WATZ HAPP3N3D AND WOND3RIN OF WAT HAS3NT HAPP3N3D!!!!Y IZ IT SO HARD 2 STOP F33LIN DA WAII IM F33LIN? U KNOW S3N I M 2 SAII I LOV3D U SH3 WAZ DA ONLY P3RSON I R3ALLY MANT IT TO…AND NOW DAT SH3S GON3 AWAY IDK WAT 2 DO N-3-MORE..